Giving a meaningful, moving eulogy can be a nerve-wracking situation for even the most accomplished public speaker, but it need not be. How can you summarize somebody’s life in a few short minutes, while feeling a wide range of emotions at the same time? Writing and delivering a eulogy can be a therapeutic tool to help deal with your grief, and being chosen to give a eulogy is truly an honor. Here are some tips for writing and delivering an eloquent and meaningful eulogy.
- Gather information. Talk with family members, close friends and co-workers to get important information on the deceased. Some important information to include in the eulogy is the person's family and other close relationships, their education/career, hobbies or special interests, places the person lived or traveled, and any special accomplishments they had. What gave their life meaning? How did their life impact the lives of others?How will their life impact you?
- Organize your thoughts. Jot down your ideas by whatever means are most comfortable and familiar to you. Create an outline of your speech, and fill in the information that you gathered about the person.
- Write it down. This is not a toast at a wedding where you can make off the cuff remarks. Writing it all down allows you to include and remember every detail you wanted in your eulogy. Make sure it is easy to read. Print it out in a large font, or if it hand-written leave a few spaces between the lines. Keep in mind your time constraints, it’s best to keep things on the short side, especially if there are other speakers.
- Review and Revise. Your first draft will not be the last. When you think you are done, sleep on it and look it over in the morning when it is fresh again, that will be the time to make any necessary revisions.
- Practice. Read over your eulogy several times in order to become familiar with it. Practice in front of a mirror, read it over to some friends or family and have them give you feedback. Become familiar with your speech so you can recite it without making it look like you’re reading from a script. The more you practice the more comfortable you will be.
- You may laugh, but be respectful. A funeral is not a roast, however there may be room for humor in your eulogy. Fondly remember a story about the person that everyone can relate too. Keep it appropriate. Laughter is truly the best medicine, and some well placed humor will help people cope, and will bring back fond memories of the deceased.
- Don’t be afraid to show emotion. The loss of a loved one can be a very emotional event; nobody expects you not to shed a few tears. However, if you feel that you will be too strongly overcome by your emotions, have a back-up plan in place where someone you trust can deliver the eulogy for you. Give them a copy well in advance if you feel this could be an issue.
- Have a glass of water as well as tissues handy.
Writing an obituary is an important step in the funeral process. Through the obituary, friends and relatives, and even friends of the deceased you may not know, will be notified of the death and will be given the opportunity to be able to share their sympathies...whether it be attending a visitation or funeral, or just sending a card or making a phone call. Below is a rough template of an obituary. This can be added to, or subtracted from. Some regions and newspapers have particular formats for obituaries which have to be followed.
Name, and nick name if it applies
Location (Town lived in)
Day and date of death
Survivors. Typical order would be: spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews
Time, Date and location of services
Place of burial
Memorial contributions, or a listing of a charity (or charities) where people might send donations in memory of the deceased.
Other, more personal or biographical information may be added in most obituaries. Cost may be a factor in obituary length, depending on what newspaper is used.