Monday, February 3, 2025
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10 years ago I replied to Cindy's message to me on Ancestry.com, as at that time I was her closest known DNA relation besides her sons. Her warm request for any background info I could share regarding how we might be related compelled my response but I had no idea at that time that my family had just gained a beloved member and I a treasured friend. So began a journey that prompted Cindy to fly across the country to Las Vegas, where I live, to meet me in person. Our already strong connection was instantly reinforced and would only continue to expand into an unbreakable bond. After we met, I was even further invested in finding the answers Cindy was looking for, and shaking them loose from my family tree. It may have taken me a little over two years and countless hours of computer time, but few things in my entire life can compare to the feeling I got when I broke the news to Cindy that I had finally figured out her personal genetic puzzle, and revealed the two missing pieces she had been trying to locate for a large chunk of her life. I had to text the information I had for her, because neither of us were capable of coherent speech during the phone call. Cindy did not get the ultimate outcome that she desired and certainly not fully one that she truly deserved, but regardless of her unfulfilled expectations, I know that the pursuit of the information I would eventually give her not only allowed us to grow our relationship after she initially reached out but also finally resulted in Cindy making a few more cherished family connections that she was so thankful to have. It was truly gratifying to see the utter happiness this engendered in Cindy. Her sheer joy was a gift to both of us. Looking back over the hundreds of emails Cindy and I exchanged was a bittersweet task, because rereading her words was a brutally painful reminder of all the joy and sunshine that is now absent from my life, without Cindy there to shine her distinctive light. Yet, at the same time I am so overwhelmingly grateful for the years I was given to be blessed by her presence, even though it was for such a regrettably short time, and thankful that I have so much of her unique voice still preserved in those many emails, available whenever I feel a little gloomy and need a reminder of the beautiful ray of sunshine that I was so unexpectedly fortunate to include in my family: my dearest lovely cousin and my beloved friend, Cindy. I will love you to pieces forever and miss you always and one day, I know we will meet again to laugh and exchange terribly immature jokes and share cocktails by the pool. Cousin to cousin, we will always be, a couple of nuts, off the family tree.
